Wednesday, November 17, 2010

All These Inglorious Details

If there is one word that best describes Darryl and I it would be weary. Wondering when life will have some normalcy or at least be less exhausting.  Wondering how we will ever be able to move into a home. Wondering when Darryl will get his green card (and consequently a job) so that we can get a loan for a house. Wondering if we will ever sleep through the night again.

I dream of the day Darryl and I will be able to go to bed and night and have the energy to just talk. Those moments were our most cherished--running over the days events and talking about students, discussions, the kids, a book we're reading. Now one of us sleeps with Calvin and the other in another room and there is no time or energy for small talk. I miss him.

In other news, Calvin and I are both under the weather with Strep and Calvin is scheduled for surgery next week Friday. He is getting the Nissen surgery to help with reflux and a feeding tube put in. He will be admitted for two nights.
It is nearly a year already since sweet Calvin joined our family. We are immensely thankful for the excellent medical care Calvin is receiving. We are so thankful we've been able to stay at our parent's house since last June. My mom deserves a "Hero of the Year" award. I can never pay back how much she has done for us and been there for our family.

But we can't stay here forever. And without the possibility of getting a loan we need to find a place to rent. The sheer energy required in cleaning and moving to yet another temporary place makes me about weep. I want to unpack our bins and suitcases and settle in for a while in a place I can call home. I am wishing for some permanence in all the uncertainty and chaos in our life. Give me a contented heart, Lord.

Well, there is it, all those inglorious details. But it is a very real part of our lives, the highs and the lows.


Jenny said...

Ahhhhhhh Kara!

Wish we could help somehow! God knows all about you, and is supporting you even though you are feeling so tired and worn out. Glad Calvin is getting his surgery, praying it will help him be more comfortable. Take care all of you, God be with you...the Jansens in Chilliwack.

JMaartense said...

Oh Kara,
I am speechless...
With having four little tikes I understand the constant going, going, going and the exhaustion, and even the sleepless nights but.....what a struggle you have been given.
My love goes out to you and D for all you have endured and for your honesty through it all. May your faith be to God's glory and all this suffering for a mighty purpose, of which we may not know until eternity.
Much love,