Some days everything seems right with the world. The children are chipper and loving, the street dogs avoid my car, Darryl has a productive day with students, and my hair goes just right. Today wasn’t quite that way.
It started off very fuzzy as I tried to recall which kids had waked me up in the night and why. I gave up and let it remain a giant blur. Not long after deciding Sophie needed to stay home because of an eye infection, Noah accidentally locked himself into his bedroom. After calling Darryl home from school to help with the rescue operation, and after twenty minutes of coaxing him to turn the bolt the “other” way, he had sweet freedom at last.
I could tell it was a day we needed to get out somewhere, anywhere. We ran errands together. I was out of sorts. All did not seem right in the world and I had that indefinable little feeling in my stomach. Something like feeling out of place, uncomfortable where I am, uneasy.
As we drove along I tried not to let the bossy Toyota Hiluxes and Landcruisers irritate me as they pushed me around like a little ping-pong ball. A Camry gets no respect on these roads J. I tried not to let it bother me when I saw a cop chase after one girl on a moto for going the wrong way while ignoring all the VIP cars doing the same thing. It was hard not to notice the boy walking besides my car sniffing glue.
But when he jumped in front of traffic on the road I couldn’t push it away anymore. He was a man in his forties or so, bedraggled, wrapped from his waist to knees in a traditional cloth. His blue flip-flops flapped under his feet as he ran bizarrely through the busy traffic, jumping to amazing heights. He was clearly suffering from drug use and had just gotten off another high. This isn’t unusual to see but today I felt more sensitive to it or maybe just more aware.
The desperate state of humanity surrounded me and my own irritated, out-of-sorts spirit revealed my own impoverished heart. Through unpleasant days and harsh realities God gently reminds me that without Christ this is what humanity is. On the surface things might be hi-ho cheerio but it only takes a momentary glimpse inside and around to see it’s a façade. We are desperate, needy, and in absolute need of a savior.
Yesterday I was reading an article by JR Beeke about Jesus’ genealogy. He points out that in Matthew the genealogy was written especially to the Jews and it purposefully included people who had fallen deeply. All this to amplify the extent of new hope and life brought by the Messiah, Jesus Christ. This is joy, this is hope! Christ is not a stranger of sinners; He is the Savior of sinners.
This reality made my last mishap of the day scarcely bother me. I went around the corner to pick up some dish-soap and somehow managed to squirt very large streams of soap into the air. It landed in my hair, on my arm, and all over the front of my shirt. As I sat there wondering how to keep my dignity intact, it slowly dripped onto my ear, then my shoulder. After mopping up the best I could and attempting to act calm, cool, and collected, I went to check-out. The cashier was so busy convincing the woman next to me that the Chinese olives in her hand were actually very delicious, he hardly gave me a second glance.
That was a good thing…I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the car window and burst out laughing. My hair hung awkwardly to the side, clumped together with sticky soap and a large rainbow blob of soap was slowly oozing down the side of my neck.
Some days are just like that.
5 comments:
Oh Kara,
How right you are! There are definently days that seem like nothing goes right, instead everything that could go wrong does, but then God brings to light the fact that without him nothing can go right...maybe on the outside like you said, it may seem you have it all together, but really without Christ life is meaningless! Oh how I needed to read this little exerpt you wrote, God needed to remind me of the very fact that without Him, life is meaningless! Thank you for sharing how God worked in your heart this day. We all need gentle reminders every so often. I will pray for you that the rest of the week goes well and hope your family is doing well. Keep in touch. Rebecca
Martha and I can relate.
Thank you very much for writing this.
Funny how, no matter where we are in the world, we can ALL relate, at least to the kind of day if not the details. In some ways, Americans can more easily avoid seeing those daily or hourly evidences of life without Christ..."hi ho cheerio" is a lot easier to maintain. But either way, the evidences always make the word "burden" come to mind: how much of a burden sin is, the world has, we have even as Christians.
Kara, thank you so much for writing this beautiful little memoir. I often have that same feeling of brokenness, of despair. Kate is right--Americans can (more) easily avoid the nastiness of humanity, the sadness and the fragility of life...but we're all broken inside. Thank God He loves us enough to put us back together. Thank God for Jesus, and the healing that He brings. On a side note, your prose about the dish soap had me laughing out loud! Great mental picture of that. Miss you!
Thanks for your comments, friends!
Becca: So nice to hear from you again. It's a blessing to hear how the Lord is working in your heart and life.
Terry and Martha: Thanks for stopping by, I've really enjoyed all your new pictures posted! Although Darryl did wonder why you dressed up like a pirate. lol.
Kate and Kelly: If anybody should be writing it's you two! You are both so gifted with words and wisdom that it's high time your blogs reflected that :). Not that I don't enjoy the pictures and quotes though!
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