Tuesday, January 04, 2011

a day in the life (8)

I've been too outta steam to post. So if anyone out there hasn't given up on me and is still reading, thanks for sticking around. I'm back, and so is the next episode of a day in the life series. All my wishes and love to you for this year of 2011, may it be blessed. ~Kara

Why is it always so hard to make it anywhere on time? This is what I was wondering as I curled Sophie's hair. It was the night of the Christmas program; Sophie was nervous and excited while I was frantic and exasperated. No matter how much I planned ahead, dirty diapers, knots in hair, missing tights, and feeding tubes beat me at the game of time.

Evie came running into the bathroom twirling in her purple "princess" dress, happy to be going out even though she had no idea where. Noah was absentmindedly singing about the "Eensy weensy spider" who "went up to outer space". At the top of his lungs. To the shower curtain. (Water spout, outer space...close, right?) Darryl stood at the bathroom door with Calvin in his hands asking me which tie looked better and I pretended to have an opinion. Mayhem can be cheery, and this was that sort.

Sophie looked beautiful in a simple red slip dress with silver sparkles. I curled her hair slowly enjoying her company and chatter. I was thankful to have this Christmas together. It had just been four weeks before that Calvin was quickly declining and left us wondering how much time we had left with him. She had snuggled up close to his still pale little body and buried her face in his hair. "I just want him here for Christmas, mom," she said to me with teary eyes and hugged him into her side. And she had been given her wish.

Since surgery Calvin hadn't been having trembling episodes and was doing well.  Well enough to all venture out into the snowy night. Glorious! After a few minutes of pushing everyone out the door, up into the van, into their seats and with a click snapping them in...we were off.  Whew! I was ready for a latte, a good book and a foot massage.

The Christmas program was beautiful and amazingly Calvin sat through most of the concert. Evie did too (with the help of some fruit snacks from a friend). The dimmed lights and lack of bustling made me feel relaxed. Calvin lay in my arms his eyes searching out the lights he could dimly see and his ears perking to the sounds around him. Doug poked his arm into me halfway through the program and gestured to me that he wanted to hold Calvin. Doug is a young man with a chromosome disorder. And he loves kids. He will frequently catch me in the church parking lot and ask me "How Calvin?" with great sincerity and earnestness.

He tenderly took Calvin in his arms and gave a delighted expression at Calvin's little noises. Doug had an unmatched enthusiasm for each new class that would come out. When the little kids came out playing violins he was just overcome with delight and I was overcome with delight watching him! At the end all the elementary kids came together on the stage which made him completely ecstatic at the sight of so many little kids up there. He pointed in disbelief and amazement as more and more kids poured onto the stage.

I watched all this while he was holding Calvin. And I saw the gift of delight . Delight in the good blessings God has given us. There was something very special about the two sitting next to me. And I don't mean that in a mystical romantic sort of way. I don't ever want to romanticize special needs because it is not (and may I repeat) NOT romantic in the least. It is hard. It is frustrating. It is a sorrow.

Yet I was taken aback by the beauty that radiated from those beside me. Although affected deeply by the fallenness of this world in a physical and mental capacity they seemed to find unadulterated joy in the precious and simple things of life. Things I often overlook or sully with boredom and busyness.

Somehow these dear ones have a way of touching people in new ways. Making people see new things. Or to see old things differently. And for a time I felt not a drop of sorrow as I sat there that night. I felt blessed. Blessed to be touched by this this young man and my son. Honored to be part of their lives.


Anonymous said...

Kara, I am so blessed to be able to read your blog! I sincerely mean that...you inspire me with your honesty and I thank God for you and your testimony during this journey! Praying for you this evening that God will give you every good desire of your heart and that he will continue to bless you as you bless others.
Sue-Ontario, Canada

Kate said...

Beautiful writing, as always, Kara. And I can't believe those photos - Calvin looks like a boy now, not a baby - so much older! Same for Sophie and Evie. Beautiful children, beautiful thoughts. Blessings to you tonight, dear friend.

Brea said...

Beautiful. Following your journey and praying for you.

Duane and Mary said...

THANKS for posting- I was getting worried! And God's 'special' children have left tender footprints on my soul...so has your Calvin.
Love Mary

trmills said...

Oh, wow, Calvin is a beautiful child! How sweet to see them all and what a privilege to walk with you in just a few glimpses of your day to day, even from such a distance. I love the thought of a fresh new year for you all in a home of your own, and I'm praying for God's continued provision of just what you need.

KarenKTeachCamb said...

Thank you Kara. I nearly cried as I read Sophie's comment about wanting Calvin to be with you for Christmas, and I'm so glad he was.

Your observation of the gift those two special needs boys have was also beautiful. Thank you for sharing. This post was worth waiting for!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Kara,

My heart goes out to you in your suffering and how I see the beauty of Christ in your godly perspective and refreshing honesty. Thank you for being so real. Bert and Kryna arrived in Australia yesterday and spoke with me of Calvin especially. I had to go off facebook for safety reasons, and was therefore not up to date with what was happening for you guys. I cannot tell you how your suffering has touched my heart, especially having a one year old myself. I have a note on our fridge now to pray for you at least every day! You are doing great. You should turn your blog into a book - it would be a tremendous blessing to so many people, as I am sure your blog is now. With much love and support, Jacquie and Xavier xxoo

Lorissa said...

Thanks for sharing your heart in your blog. Please give Sophie a hello and a big hug from me. I miss her! She's so beautiful in her Christmas dress! Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers...